Stages of Development

Developmental Stages of Moral Character*

Birth - 12 Months
Age of Absorption and Intimacy

Task of the Child	Role of the Parent
Experience and connect to their world	Nurture, express gentle loving and caring
Respond to intimacy of caregivers	Respond to needs and signals
Experience some frustration and delayed gratification	Avoid over-indulgence and being overly protective

12 -24 Months
Age of Early Cooperation

Learn about others, what they like: what they don't like	Present alternatives to behaviors; Set Simple limits
Learn about early cooperation	Learn about early cooperation
Learn about denial and simple limits; Experiment with cause/effect	Avoid over-indulgence and being overly protective
Express simple gestures of empathy	Set limits on hurting people and animals
Experience give and take with caregivers	Intervene at signs of unkindness
	Provide routine, structure and simple consequences

2 Years - 4 Years
Age of Social Language

Task of the Child	Role of the Parent
Develop social language	Set firm, loving limits with explanations
Learn early negotiation	Apply appropriate consequences
Deal with disappointment and frustration	Treat child with respect, dignity
Learn rules and guidelines of the home	Avoid over-indulgence
Show kindness for playmates	Teach by example
Begin to share, show simple empathy	Talk about treating others kindly
Learn to behave; Take on simple responsibilities for self and the family	Teach by example
Take on simple responsibilities for self and the family	Talk about feelings and acceptable expressions of emotions

5 Years - 12 Years
Age of Intense Morality

Task of the Child	Role of the Parent
Learn how to get along with others, engage with them	Teach by example; Talk about family values
Figure out ways to behave in a variety of situations	Figure out ways to behave in a variety of situations
Explore their world and make sense of it	Explain own values, actions, and choices
Learn to put selves in another's shoes	Treat child with respect and dignity
Join community (or school) as a participating member	Use teachable moments to teach values; Give responsibilities
Develop a conscience	Teach social skills
Discern right from wrong; Handle emotions	Engage in community volunteerism as a family
Observe contrasts between home and school	Teach appropriate expressions of emotions; Teach peaceful conflict resolution skills
Respond to opinions and ideas of others
Comply with rules
Struggle with ethical questions

Adolescence
Age of Moral Anxiety

Task of the Child	Role of the Parent
Deal with moral quandaries that come into play; Embrace youth culture (dress, music, fads)	Teach by example; Maintain consistency between words and behaviors
Experiment with different values	Be forthright in expressing moral beliefs
Pursue independence	Avoid rigidity
Challenge moral authority figures	Listen with respect
Recognize inconsistencies	Avoid being judgmental
Assert personal initiatives and ideas	Avoid overreacting
Balance values of family and peers	Maintain open dialog
Give back to community	Encourage volunteerism
	Teach appropriate expressions of emotions and peaceful conflict resolution skills

*Source: Practical Parent Education